I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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