I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
