He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
