The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
