I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
