just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
