About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
