She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
