Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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