She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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