I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
