Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
