Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
