hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize