TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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