Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
