She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
