It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
