Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
