No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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