Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
