shes about as inviting as chlamydia
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
