I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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