Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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