Christians are straight up FREAKS
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
