Got a toothbrush?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
