yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
did i just pee glitter
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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