I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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