i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
