I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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