It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
