so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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