How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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