I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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