Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
