My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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