So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
