At least make sure they are 18
Why
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No subtext here. People are naked.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
