dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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