Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
why do cheetos always look like penises
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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