Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
