You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
