I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
