there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
