You're my little dorito
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
