I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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