I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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