Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize