I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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