How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
