I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
