You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just gift wrapped bread.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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