Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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