dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
