Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
