I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
