this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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