i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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