K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
